by David Delp | Sep 27, 2016 | Spiritual Life
Outcomes are not my responsibility. I am at a men’s “prayer summit” this week and I will post a few thoughts from the “summit.” This is some quick hits of things I’m thinking about this week. It is important to pull back from routine regularly and calibrate.
This thought has come to me consistently and almost continuously over the past 24 hours, “The outcomes are not my responsibility.” The perfectionist in me wants to qualify that statement. Yes, I take responsibility for my decisions and actions, but there is so much in life I cannot control. Fear keeps me from starting, but starting is my chief responsibility. I cannot control ultimate outcomes. I can only trust that if I do the right things the right things will happen.
I always thought that if I was “good enough” and if I worked hard enough, I could keep my family safe, healthy, provided for, and we could live the life I envisioned in my head. It is my responsibility to see the vision, to start the journey, be faithful to what I hear in my heart, take action, etc., etc., but the end result is not the object, the object is day to day obedience, trust, and action. There are simply a lot of things along the way I cannot control.
Am I to take LESS action? Am I to sit passively and just LET life happen? No, I will be a man of action. I will be a starter. I will dream dreams and see visions and I will pursue them with faith and courage. But when the circumstances of life make it impossible to ZIG, I will ZAG.
[shareable]When the circumstances of life make it impossible to ZIG, I will ZAG.[/shareable]
Ok, typical of the way I think… here are three action points to help us do this:
First, Hear
My mission in life is to listen to the heartbeat of the Father and to write, speak, and do what I hear. I take the time to listen and I am committed to following the paths I believe God is leading me on. Meditation, prayer, journaling are important. Every successful person I’ve ever met has a quiet time in their daily routine to think. I use my quiet time to listen. Pacing and shouting during your prayer time is a good thing, I do it more often than you’d think, but I find that what God has to say is always more important than what I have to say. I need to listen.
Second, Trust
When I listen, and I hear, I then must trust what I’m hearing. This is cultivated. I must position myself that the outcomes are not my responsibility, but acting upon what I hear is my responsibility. If I fail to START because the end result is not guaranteed, then I will never start. I have to trust God to orchestrate the end result.
But, its not enough that I trust God… I have to trust God in me. I have to trust my relationship and my ability to hear clearly. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I get it wrong, but I must have the COURAGE to go forward on what I sincerely believe is right. Even if I am wrong, if I proceed with a pure and sincere heart (Psalm 25), God is still able to orchestrate the right outcome.
[shareable]It is not enough to trust God… I must trust God in me.[/shareable]
Third, Act
Pull the trigger. Take action. Don’t try to do, do. If I sit around trying to clarify everything I will never take action. There is a time for waiting, a time for being certain, a time for testing the waters, a time for thinking, a time for caution, a time for observation… But, for-crying-out-loud, make a decision to pull the trigger and get on with it. You have to trust enough to get on with it.
Hey, a lot of this is self-talk. I struggle with this every day of my life.
I am emboldened when I realize the outcomes are not my responsibility. Taking action and doing what I know to do is my responsibility. I cannot foresee the unexpected. I don’t know how long I will live. I don’t know how long my loved ones will live. I do not know when tragedy will strike (again). I cannot control governments, the economy, politics, or evil people. I can control my obedience and the actions I take.
I will do my best to (1) clearly listen, then I will (2) trust myself enough to act, and then (3) I will trust God to bring about HIS outcome.
by David Delp | Mar 3, 2016 | Leadership, Uncategorized
Your God-given dreams are YOUR responsibility. You have to steward your dreams. You cannot expect someone else to make it happen for you. There are 5 areas of maturity that we must cultivate to properly go forward with purpose.
This is my second post about pursuing our dreams and our purpose. Lately, that’s been a very important subject to me. Like many of you, I have some big dreams in my heart that I believe God has given me. I am intrigued with how our journey of losing spouses has both majorly disrupted the pursuit of life purpose, but has also keenly focused us on what is important and not important, which in turn better prepares us for what is ahead.
In a previous post I wrote about Keeping the Dream Alive. In this post I will explore some lessons I’ve learned in aligning dreams with present context and moving forward with maturity. This post is about taking responsibility for our dreams and not placing the responsibility upon someone else.
Sometimes, when we feel others should lend their influence to our vision, and they do not, improper attitudes may develop. In the church world we call a subversive attitude an “Absalom spirit.” The term refers to the story in the bible (2 Samuel) of Absalom, King David’s son. Absalom’s vision of the future was different than King David’s, and was openly critical of his father. He gathered people around his cause and actively campaigned against David. Admittedly, David made mistakes, but Absolom’s response has become a biblical standard against improper attitudes toward spiritual leadership.
Some see a subversive attitude toward a struggling leader, or a leader with a different vision, as acceptable, but it is wrong. An Absalom attitude, along with being morally wrong, destroys elements necessary to the success of any organization or team: trust, respect, teamwork, and the cohesiveness of character. An Absalom spirit can arise in us when we feel our vision of the future is better and more important than that of the leader or the leadership team.
An Absalom spirit can arise when we feel our vision of the future is better and more important than that of the leader or the leadership team.
An immature leader will sometimes see their vision of the future as more important than anyone else’s. They want their ideas to become the organization’s priorty. Such immature people cannot understand why other ministries and initiatives are not scrapped to free budget resources for them to fulfill their vision.
I once worked with a staff pastor who was doing an awesome job. This team member was already consuming an inordinate amount of the budget on their vision. He grew frustrated because the leadership of the church would not keep fueling him with more and more general resources needed by other vital ministries. His vision was big. His vision was a good vision. It was difficult for him to understand why we could not fund it at greater levels.
Your vision is no one else’s responsibility. If you are a visionary your dreams will always outstrip your ability to pay for it. Part of stewarding a vision is seeking God for the resources to do it. While God is our source, you have to take responsibility for funding your vision and not get “put off” when everyone doesn’t roll over to make your dream happen.
Mature leaders understand when God speaks something to them they have to take responsibility for shepherding the vision. Yes, inspire others, include others, inspire others to find themselves in the vision, maybe it will become their vision too, but do not develop a sense of entitlement that implies that since God gave you a vision everyone else needs to fall in line and see that it gets done.
Here’s the deal… Anybody can have an idea. Ideas are a dime a dozen. I have more ideas floating around in my head now than I will ever accomplish and that would take years of work, sacrifice, and fund-raising to carry out. Not every idea is a God idea. I have ideas about websites and apps and videos and books, the list goes on and on. It is no one else’s responsibility to make the things in my heart happen–it’s mine, and I have to decide what is and is not worth the investment. Anybody can have an idea. So what? Those who can shepherd ideas into reality are valuable.
Anyone can have an idea, the value comes in being able to make it a reality.
The train wreck begins when we see our leaders and our team as “irrelevant,” “too passive,” and Absalom’s pearl–“they just don’t have vision.” And then Absalom talks about it. At the city gate, in the rest room, and worse, he alludes to it in meetings and manipulates others into saying it out loud while he is quiet in a telling way with a knowing look on his face.
I must take responsibility for the dreams and visions God has given me. I have to take responsibility for moving my “great adventures” forward. In moving the God-visions in my heart forward I have to exercise maturity to assure that the things God has put on my heart aligns with His broader plan. How do we keep our dreams and visions aligned with God’s big-picture? How do we protect ourselves from an “Absolom spirit?”
We must cultivate at least five areas of maturity to protect our hearts while moving our God-given dreams and visions forward.
#1 Cultivate maturity in your communications.
Do not have a hidden agenda in your communications, let your “yes” mean “yes” and your “no” mean “no” (Matthew [5:37]). As communicators we know how to “spin” things. Have integrity in the motivation behind your words.
#2 Cultivate maturity in your expectations.
To expect others to take responsibility for fulfilling our dreams is immature. People will only engage with your vision when it becomes their vision, when they can see themselves in it. It isn’t about you.
#3 Cultivate maturity in your perspectives.
An immature person only sees things important to their agenda. A spiritual leader has to have a “big picture” perspective. Organizations and churches are systemic, everything affects everything. Someone has to keep everything in focus and make decisions based upon outcomes affecting the entire organization. To have a team member trying to promote a sliver of the vision over everything else is wearisome.
#4 Cultivate maturity in your pace.
Repositioning, major changes, and culture shifts take a long time. Immaturity and impatience are synonymous when it comes to moving a dream or a vision forward. Timing and alignment are critically important. An “Absolom spirit” is critical of the necessary pace and often pushes for things to move faster than they should.
#5 Cultivate maturity in your understanding of ownership.
When you are the one who owns primary responsibility for a decision, things look differently. The weight of a decision rightfully rests upon the one with the most responsibility. Immaturity presses us to seek the right of decision-making without owning the responsibilities. The primary leader owns the responsibility for organizational outcomes, no matter how many assurances come from team members that they will own the responsibility for decisions. We have to own our decisions and we have to respect the fact that, when under authority, our leaders will also have to own our decisions.
Your dreams fit into someone else big-picture. We do not dream in a vacuum. We must help those we mentor and coach to understand how their dreams, visions, and life-purpose fits into their big-picture. We must also be careful to keep the right attitude toward those over us as we pursue our purpose. It is my responsibility to steward my God-given dream and I must diligently seek to understand how that dream aligns with the context in which God has placed me.
Thoughts?
by David Delp | Feb 19, 2016 | Uncategorized
Life has knocked my dreams off track so many times. There’s a lot of stuff, big stuff inside me. Stuff I believe is from God. Dreams that are more than wishes, dreams that are deeply connected to my purpose for being on this earth. When will I start again? Right now!
Before we can change something, do something important, or lift to the next level we must have a sense of urgency to keep us from settling into our comfort zones.
John Kotter, in his book, Leading Change, lists one of the necessary components of leading an organizational change as “creating a sense of urgency.” Before a leader can lead a group forward, the people have to have a sense of urgency; otherwise, they stay in their comfort zone. I believe the same is true for personal transformation.
“Right now!” is a sense of urgency that moves us to action. If we are to accomplish something important, change something, or move out of our comfort zones, we must have a sense of “Right now.”
Most people have sizable dreams they wish to accomplish someday. I love to develop ideas, write useful things, and help leaders develop the people in their lives. I have a hard time staying on track for the long-haul. I have one book complete, but needing a rewrite, one 25% complete, and another in fragments that need organized and gathered. Those things are just one of my big God-dreams. I’ve already written a lot, developed a lot, its in me–now on to the next level! Right now!
“Right now!” is the time.
We will fulfill our big God-dreams when we get a “Right Now!” attitude. Today will turn into tomorrow, tomorrow will turn into next week, next week will turn into three decades. I have some dreams three decades old. If I nurture them for three more decades without action, “game over.”
Right now!
Charles Hummel wrote a booklet entitled, The Tyranny of the Urgent. I’ve never read it, but the red cover with yellow words is fixed in my mind. The title is all I need to convey whatever message is in the book. Urgent things have a tendency to take precedence over important things. Urgent things are “Right now!” things.
A well-known priority matrix encourages us to prioritize thusly:
Priority One: Things urgent and important
Priority Two: Things important but not urgent
Priority Three: Things urgent but not particularly important
Priority Four: Things neither important nor urgent
Priority three items kill me; urgent items on my action list that do not move my purpose forward, yet I must do them.
Priority two items are my greatest challenge. Things vitally and critically important that can always wait until tomorrow, and too often, they do.
I have a card under the glass of my office desk. I gave a duplicate to my girls when they were teenagers. I’ve seen Kelly’s card prominently displayed in a few locations. The card has a Jim Rohn quote that says, “If you don’t have a plan for your life, you will fall into someone else’s plan, and guess what they have planned for you—not much!”
Other people’s “urgent” will kill your “important.”
We must gain a sense of urgency for important things necessary to fulfill God’s plan and purpose for our lives. Right now!
How do we gain a sense of urgency for the critically important things we often push into “tomorrow?”
#1 Keep your perspective.
Maintain a finite perspective. I have an app on my phone that reminds me, Lord willing, how many days I have before celebrating my 80th birthday. Why? I need to grasp my finite amount of time. I cannot spend my life pushing important things until tomorrow. It is urgent that I move things forward every day. Age 80 is not necessarily my finish line, but that is the number that focuses me on the finite. I’ve learned all too well that life can beat you up and stop you in your tracks if you do not keep perspective.
We must also maintain an infinite perspective. Do your actions and investments affect eternity? When you pass from this life, the only thing that will matter are the investments you’ve made in others and in the Kingdom of God. What must you do today to advance infinitely important things?
#2 Embrace the power of incremental movement.
You cannot accomplish your God-given life plan in a day. We do not accomplish a life plan by holing up in a cabin for a month. You must move little bits and pieces forward every single day of your life. Think of one small thing you could do today, or everyday, to move your plan forward; consider that one thing both important and urgent. Right now!
#3 Define your action items and establish deadlines.
What are the little things you must do every day?
Break your big dreams down into chunks. If you want to write books, focus on the first one. Establish milestones, such as chapter topics and outlines. Put deadlines on your calendar for each of those tasks. What must you do daily to meet those goals? Those daily tasks are important and urgent.
If you cannot move the long-term important into a sense of short-term urgency, you will fail.
#4 Fire your passion.
You can only hold on to a dream if you are passionate about it. If the passion wanes and dies, perhaps it wasn’t a God-dream. I believe passion comes from a God-revelation. You have to renew your passion often to keep important things important and your sense of urgency fired up.
Fix your sights on the big stuff, the big dreams God has put inside you.
Life happens. You will have to adjust your calendar every week. Urgent matters will pop up and you will have to deal with things outside of your plan. But, you must have a sense of urgency about your priorities or you will fall into someone else’s plan for your life—and guess what they have planned for you, not much.
Right now!
I would love to hear about some of the ways you keep your dreams and passions alive.
