by David Delp | Jul 17, 2017 | Grief & Disappointment, Joyful Living, Uncategorized
Sometimes I am pessimistic for no good reason. It is a sense of impending doom, or that feeling that’s the opposite of well-being. On other days, I am optimistic for no good reason—meaning that today is no different from yesterday and yesterday I was depressed and pessimistic, and today I’m optimistic, so, being that no significant change of circumstance has taken place, I really have no reason to be optimistic, at least no more so than the reasons for which I was pessimistic yesterday.
The tragedies we’ve walked through taught us that bad things actually do happen to good people. We seek to understand, we want to attach some meaning to the dark valleys we’ve walked through. If we can just understand the reasons for or the purposes of the dark valley, it comforts us. It doesn’t change anything, but it comforts us to know that tragedy is not random, rather, it serves good and noble purposes. (more…)
by David Delp | Jul 6, 2017 | Joyful Living, Podcast Episodes
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Life can only be experienced and lived in the moment. The past is the foundation for right now and the future is built upon the life we are living right now. When we live life in the past or in the future we sacrifice the joy we should experience right now. How do we embrace the past, look to the future, and still experience the joy of living, leading, and loving today, right now?
In this episode of the Calibrate Life Podcast, David and Donna talk about the importance of living life right now, not in the past, and not in the future, but right now! Continue reading for the article and time-stamped episode notes and links.
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by David Delp | Apr 13, 2017 | Grief & Disappointment, Joyful Living, Podcast Episodes, Uncategorized
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Life doesn’t always turn out the way we hope it will, but life is a great adventure to be lived out and enjoyed. How do we step into our great adventure? This episode of the Calibrate Life podcast was recorded canal side in Venice, Italy as David and Donna talk about six life calibration decisions necessary for stepping into our great life adventure.
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by David Delp | Oct 12, 2016 | Grief & Disappointment, Joyful Living, Spiritual Life
It is not so much the path upon which we find ourselves that matters, what matters most is how we choose to walk the path. In this we accept the path’s reality, we embrace God’s sovereignty, we rejoice in redemption… and we keep walking out our place in life.
[shareable]It is not so much the path upon which we find ourselves that matters, what matters most is how we choose to walk the path.[/shareable]
What do you do when you have no choice? We give a lot of thought to choosing the right path, but how do you live joyfully when you cannot choose your path?
When we miss a turn our GPS declares it is “recalculating”. When we miss a turn in life, life is not over, we (or God) recalculates our path based upon the best or only route from our present location to our destination. We cannot go back and start over, our life must “recalculate.”
My life has been most affected, not by the times when I had a choice and made the wrong one, but by the times my path and direction changed and I had no choice in the matter. When the single road I was walking turned dark, there were no alternate paths. There were no forks or crossroads. I could “quit” or I could keep going, but another path was not an option.
So, since this is a reality, how then do we joyfully move forward when we’ve been offered no choice?
Accept the Reality of the Path
As I write this we are in a presidential campaign season in which I hear many saying there is no choice with which they are comfortable. To call something godly that is evil is no solution. We lose a piece of our soul when we do it. We may not have the choice we want, but we need to acknowledge our dilemma, call it what it is, and make the best of it.
When we lose a loved one to death it is irreversible. Our lives must “recalculate.” Acceptance of the path is a part of healing. The ignorant platitudes doled out by well-meaning people in attempts to placate my grief did not help. In a progressive way, I had to acknowledge the stinking reality of the situation before I could find wholeness.
Yes, we do have to find ways to come to peace with what has happened, or the stinky choice made for us, but I need to acknowledge the situation as stinky so I can move forward in the reality of the situation. We must eventually overcome denial.
Sincerely Embrace the Sovereignty of God
This is where joy enters the equation. Yes, joy. We have committed to living a joyful life. I have spoken much about the decision to believe that good things will happen in the future that would not have happened had the bad stuff had not happened. This is not a Pollyanna-ish declaration. I believe in the sovereignty of God. I believe God has a plan for my life. I believe I’ve messed up His plan more than once, I will probably mess it up again, and that he has recalculated a number of times to take me from where I am to the desired destination.
I will trust God’s sovereignty and keep going with a belief that my path leads me to a place I need to be. I will live joyfully in spite of the stinky stuff, because I do believe and trust in something bigger than myself. Believe me, there have been plenty of times I have figuratively spat in the face of such “happy talk”, but finding my bearings, with my eyes wide open, I can actually see the progression of the path and how it takes me to all the right places.
Here’s the thing… you might be at a place in life where all you can see is the sorry path you’ve been given, that’s okay. Since it is the only path you’ve been given, I encourage you to keep walking, keep going, keep trusting, keep yielding to the “recalculation” of God, and keep your eyes open, because you will find signs along the way that your path is going to actually take you to a good place.
Believe the Path is Redeemable
The most painful things I’ve walked through were not my fault. I did nothing to cause them, they were just part of the journey. But, I’ve also walked dark paths that were a mistake brought upon me by poor choices. This is common. We made decisions that led to unintended consequences, and now we have no choice but to walk the path we forged.
And what about compound complex paths? Like walking a path of grief and compounding it with subsequent poor decisions made in the fog. I know what I’m talking about.
Again, “recalculation” is a sovereign act in which we start where we are, work through the stuff, and move toward the desired destination. Redemption is atonement for a mistake or sin. The entire story of God is one of reconciliation and redemption. Without redemption all of us would be irrevocably lost.
When I have no choice but to walk the path I am on, I rejoice in the reality of redemption that redeems that which should have or could have destroyed me, and transforms it into a good thing.
Finally…
The beauty of having no choice is… well… we don’t have to make a choice. Resignation to reality has a way of leading us to a summit that only adversity can offer. Small consolation in the depths of a terrible path, but it is hope for a good place.
Remember, It is not so much the path upon which we find ourselves that matters, what matters most is how we choose to walk the path. In this we accept the path’s reality, we embrace God’s sovereignty, we rejoice in redemption… and we keep walking out our place in life.
by David Delp | Sep 27, 2016 | Spiritual Life
Outcomes are not my responsibility. I am at a men’s “prayer summit” this week and I will post a few thoughts from the “summit.” This is some quick hits of things I’m thinking about this week. It is important to pull back from routine regularly and calibrate.
This thought has come to me consistently and almost continuously over the past 24 hours, “The outcomes are not my responsibility.” The perfectionist in me wants to qualify that statement. Yes, I take responsibility for my decisions and actions, but there is so much in life I cannot control. Fear keeps me from starting, but starting is my chief responsibility. I cannot control ultimate outcomes. I can only trust that if I do the right things the right things will happen.
I always thought that if I was “good enough” and if I worked hard enough, I could keep my family safe, healthy, provided for, and we could live the life I envisioned in my head. It is my responsibility to see the vision, to start the journey, be faithful to what I hear in my heart, take action, etc., etc., but the end result is not the object, the object is day to day obedience, trust, and action. There are simply a lot of things along the way I cannot control.
Am I to take LESS action? Am I to sit passively and just LET life happen? No, I will be a man of action. I will be a starter. I will dream dreams and see visions and I will pursue them with faith and courage. But when the circumstances of life make it impossible to ZIG, I will ZAG.
[shareable]When the circumstances of life make it impossible to ZIG, I will ZAG.[/shareable]
Ok, typical of the way I think… here are three action points to help us do this:
First, Hear
My mission in life is to listen to the heartbeat of the Father and to write, speak, and do what I hear. I take the time to listen and I am committed to following the paths I believe God is leading me on. Meditation, prayer, journaling are important. Every successful person I’ve ever met has a quiet time in their daily routine to think. I use my quiet time to listen. Pacing and shouting during your prayer time is a good thing, I do it more often than you’d think, but I find that what God has to say is always more important than what I have to say. I need to listen.
Second, Trust
When I listen, and I hear, I then must trust what I’m hearing. This is cultivated. I must position myself that the outcomes are not my responsibility, but acting upon what I hear is my responsibility. If I fail to START because the end result is not guaranteed, then I will never start. I have to trust God to orchestrate the end result.
But, its not enough that I trust God… I have to trust God in me. I have to trust my relationship and my ability to hear clearly. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I get it wrong, but I must have the COURAGE to go forward on what I sincerely believe is right. Even if I am wrong, if I proceed with a pure and sincere heart (Psalm 25), God is still able to orchestrate the right outcome.
[shareable]It is not enough to trust God… I must trust God in me.[/shareable]
Third, Act
Pull the trigger. Take action. Don’t try to do, do. If I sit around trying to clarify everything I will never take action. There is a time for waiting, a time for being certain, a time for testing the waters, a time for thinking, a time for caution, a time for observation… But, for-crying-out-loud, make a decision to pull the trigger and get on with it. You have to trust enough to get on with it.
Hey, a lot of this is self-talk. I struggle with this every day of my life.
I am emboldened when I realize the outcomes are not my responsibility. Taking action and doing what I know to do is my responsibility. I cannot foresee the unexpected. I don’t know how long I will live. I don’t know how long my loved ones will live. I do not know when tragedy will strike (again). I cannot control governments, the economy, politics, or evil people. I can control my obedience and the actions I take.
I will do my best to (1) clearly listen, then I will (2) trust myself enough to act, and then (3) I will trust God to bring about HIS outcome.
