by David Delp | Dec 11, 2016 | Leadership, Spiritual Life, Uncategorized
I woke up in the middle of the night last night to a gently scolding revelation. Arrogance is a hinderance from releasing the good stuff inside me. What?!? Yep, when we fail to release the gold inside us because we constantly question its worth, that could be arrogance. Humility is necessary to rightly release the good things in us to bless others.
Here are 10 reasons why humility is an essential character quality for leaders.
#1 Humility is accepting myself and my limitations and not trying be something I am not. Arrogance is trying to appear to be something I am not. Humility supports authenticity, arrogance does not.
#2 Humility submits to crucifixion. Lately, an emerging character trait allows me to steel myself and push through pain when facing needful difficulty. The more battle scarred I become, the easier it is to do this. I am determined to be whole and healthy, and sometimes the process of such is incredibly painful. My natural inclinations are to draw back from hardships and to choose an easier path. Arrogance seeks to convince me that life’s difficulties are unfair, and that I deserve an easier path. Arrogance uses words like “deserve” and “fair” while humility understands we truly “deserve” nothing and no one’s life is ever really “fair.” Yet another reason I am so thankful for grace and mercy!
#3 Humility allows me to champion unpopular ideas, because it is needful, and its not about me. Arrogance proclaims controversial ideas for the purpose of garnering attention or increasing ratings or readership. Humility is willing to appear less profound, less studied, and less clever in order to simplistically deliver that which is most needful for the situation. Arrogance makes acrostics, rhyming points, and trendy ideas solely for the purpose of impressing the audience. Clever is good, but the mission is communication of vital truth, not clever for the sake of applause.
#4 Humility deflects attention to the One who is more important than I. Arrogance seeks to draw attention to self.
#5 Humility painfully communicates the truth of cause and effect, while arrogance plays to the crowd with harsh and legalistic tones because it wants the applause of the Pharisees. Humility fosters transformation, arrogance promotes alienation.
#6 Humility embraces the necessary path even when anticipating a smack to the jaw. Arrogance obscures truth with candy coating for the sake of its reputation and standing.
#7 Humility allows for celebration. Celebration is awesome. Be proud of outstanding accomplishments. Be celebratory and grateful for the favor of the Father and be ecstatic in his grace. High-five, and shout, and be exuberant over wins. Such behavior is neither humility nor arrogance, it is joyful living! It is sweet. I love it! Humility is not dour or sour or boring or consistently painful or abased. That would be called asceticism… and I think asceticism finds its genesis in arrogance…hmmm…
#8 Humility opens the door to revelation. I’ve never met an arrogant leader who seemed to hear the heartbeat of God. Believe me, I never use the word “never” without thinking long and hard about it. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough, maybe I’m just jaded. I’ve personally never seen humility obsessed with trendiness, though I am certain some humble people might be. I’ve never seen humility draped in plainness with the intent to draw attention to itself. Arrogance, on the other hand, seems to always want to draw attention to itself. I’ve never encountered a leader who was really connected to the heartbeat of God who exuded arrogance. The men and women who have made a difference in my life always exuded humility. Maybe because that’s what I was looking for, maybe because that is how I personally identify wisdom, maybe because brokenness releases the diamonds of the Father more so than arrogance ever can.
#9 Humility enables the impartation of value. I’m suspicious of people for whom everything has always gone their way. I look for people who are figuratively missing a few teeth because they’ve endured blows to the face in the course of life. I look for gray hair and some graybeards who have loved intensely and lost tragically. I look for people with limps and scars who survived something, because if they survived something then they might have something transformational to give me.
When I was a bit younger, I believed anything was possible and that God favored me above all others. I never was a stand out, but I acted like one. My wounds that became scars and my breaks that became limps have taught me more than all of my easy times combined. These things imparted to me a brokenness that instructs humility. And still… believe it or not there are people who look down on others who have survived hard blows. There are those who intimate something was lacking in either my spirituality or the love of the Father towards me. Arrogance is disturbed by such comments, so arrogance is not dead in me yet, but humility understands that the accusers only feel that way because they’ve not yet had their wound or scar, or they simply hide and deny their deepest wounds.
Not every action denotes either humility or arrogance. I do not want to polarize everything as either humility or arrogance; rather, I write these thoughts because I need to regularly remind myself, and the leaders I love, that courage is more often clothed with humility than with arrogance. We do courageous things because they must be done, not because it feeds our ego. At least that is my hope. My arrogance would rather I run away from battles, because I don’t “deserve” the skirmishes, its just not “fair.”
I want to be obedient to my heavenly Father. I am engaged in the lifelong process of the crucifixion of self. I think that I shall only be free from the anchor to this world when I experience glorification on “that day.” Am I arrogant? Yes, I am, too often. Am I humble? From the depths of my soul may I embrace it and grow in it.
#10 Humility is forging forward in obedience to the obvious task without bowing to possible consequences. Oh yes, I do believe in calculating risks, being a good steward, etc., but I’m talking about that moment when we know what we ought to do, what we must do, and arrogance squeezes it out of us. When the Father gives a divine vision, a divine strategy, things to which obedience is required, can I obey without throwing a shield up because I am afraid of opinions and opposition? I hope so.
I do seek to follow Jesus’ example and be clothed with his humility, so that I may simply do my best to be obedient.
by David Delp | Nov 17, 2016 | Grief & Disappointment, Uncategorized
Standing in the hallway of St. Vincent’s Hospital exactly 4 years ago, I thought about many of the things in our lives that were about to change. I did not anticipate that everything would change.
That first night I went to bed alone trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. I woke up several times in the night. I got up long before the sun came up and looked out the window hoping daylight would take some of the darkness from my soul. (more…)
by David Delp | Nov 9, 2016 | Grief & Disappointment, Joyful Living, Uncategorized
You can’t live joyfully if you blame yourself, and others for that matter, for everything bad that’s happened. Stuff happens and it is incumbent upon us to live beyond the tough stuff.
When Joyce, my wife died I blamed myself at first. I think all of us who have lost someone in an untimely way goes through this to some extent. “What if…?” What if I’d not taken the time to take a shower? What if I hadn’t dropped my shaver and then taken the time to clean up the shavings that fell all over the floor and down into the HVAC vent that morning? What if I’d not slept in the recliner that night, thinking she would rest better? What if I’d called for help sooner?
What if I’d been more forceful with the ER doctor the day before? Maybe I believed him because I didn’t want to insist upon it and pay the co-pay for a needless third MRI, just because she had a run-of-the-mill headache.
What if I had loved God more? What if had a more excellent faith? What if I had prayed more, or better, or differently? What If I’d said different words? What if I’d taken more spiritual authority? What if I had not stolen that little plastic 47 cent figure from G.C. Murphy when I was 13 years old on a dare? What if God had loved me more? What if I had been worthy for God to have loved me more?
Yeah, some of you know the routine. You’ve stood and looked in your bathroom mirror and cursed yourself and called yourself names, because had you been smarter, had you been better, had you been…
What if…?
Its odd how we make things about ourselves. Its actually a little arrogant to assign ourselves a central role in so many of the things that happen in the world.
I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past 4 years. I was given the gift of a looking glass into which I could peer and really see myself. At first I did not like what I saw. This preacher of the love of Jesus for 30+ years, the whole “no condemnation” part — over and over again. Yep, I was that guy. Gradually I started seeing another image in that mirror looking back at me. The transforming image wasn’t a despicable man responsible for losing the most precious gift I had to that point been given; rather, I began to see a familiar face somehow miraculously merging with my own. I began to see Jesus in my face.
I began to identify just a wee little bit with his sufferings. I began to identify just a wee little bit with his compassion and humility. I began to identify, in an infinitesimally small way with the man-Jesus who hung torturously on a cross and looked heavenward into the face of his once dotingly adoring heavenly Father saying, “My God….Why have You forsaken me.
I could not identify with the immensity of His pain, but I could identify with his massive “why.” Our “what ifs” are rooted in our “whys”.
Here are a few related leadership principles that will help you live joyfully and better lead those you love:
Everything Is Not Your Fault
You can’t live joyfully if you blame yourself (and others for that matter, which is another post) for everything bad that’s happened. Stuff happens and it is incumbent upon us to live beyond the tough stuff. Admittedly, some things ARE our faults, but the majority of the things for which we blame ourselves are not our fault, and fault isn’t even the main point if we want to heal and move into our purpose.
[shareable text=”You can’t live joyfully if you blame yourself for every bad thing that happens.”]You can’t live joyfully if you blame yourself for every bad thing that happens.[/shareable]
My dad taught me to take responsibility for my actions. own up to my mistakes. Admit you were wrong and move on as best as reality will allow. But as godly leaders, we often take internal responsibility for things that were not ours to control. I could not alter the events of November 17, 2012 (the day of my wife’s passing). They were written in a book before the foundation of the world. That does not mean that I don’t try, it is simply an acknowledgment that I cannot control everything.
You see, you can’t control the actions and decisions of others, nor can you rewrite the consequences of the things you cannot control.
Don’t Second Guess the Past
“What if” is a game that must not be played in reverse. Learn to learn from the past. Understand the future in the context of the past. Be stronger, better, and equipped from the things you’ve learned and experienced, but be very cautious with the creation of alternate scenarios, because alternate scenarios lead to alternate realities. We live where we live, reality is reality.
Instead play “what if” forward and positively. What if today I love my wife like it is the last day I will have her with me? What if I apply myself diligently to the revelation I’ve received? What if I live faithfully and trust God’s grace? What if…? What might happen if…? and then live it.
Live in Partnership with God
Outcomes emerge from our obedience to God’s directives. I am of the conviction that things and people are only eternally transformed through a God-revelation. I cannot expect to bear great fruit outside my gift, and neither can I position myself to effectiveness contingent upon my earning it.
You can’t create something transformational if you think yourself unworthy of God’s grace. You can’t lead with A profound spiritual horsepower until you’ve been beaten up, probably several times, and learned that you just cannot make it through tough stuff unless you have some help. This fixes both your reliance and sufficiency on God.
I’m going to do my best, but I really can’t change much. I for sure cannot change the things that are behind. I can only learn from them. I can only use them for a context to understand the things to come.
If I can’t change much in my past, then why am I obtuse enough to think I can really orchestrate my future. Oh yeah, I will be disciplined, I will be determined, I will not quit, I will hear the heartbeat of the Father and I will doggedly and obediently pursue his plan, but I play just one instrument and my Father is the conductor. I have to trust that he will give me the right part, the right music, and the will to be tenaciously obedient.
Nothing I did or did not do that day affected the outcome. Sometimes I wish it had so I would understand better. I was along for the ride on a very bad day, but that ride is still taking me to … I’m not sure where, but I choose to position myself to live joyfully, and trust that the destination is a very, very good place.
