by David Delp | Dec 26, 2016 | Joyful Living, Leadership, Spiritual Life, Uncategorized
I am a prophetic being. Not the kind that can tell the future, but I do usually know the next step, the next creative step issued by the heartbeat of the Father, and I lean into that.
I think you know your next step too!
Sometimes we feel it should be different. We sometimes feel we should have all the details before moving forward. About all that gets you is stuck. This is a paradigm shift for me. I was the guy who wanted everything mapped out. Now, I try to simply take “next steps” and see where they lead me. I look for open doors and step through the ones I feel are right. I shrug at closed doors and (more…)
by David Delp | Dec 22, 2016 | Grief & Disappointment, Joyful Living, Relationships
Do you need a little Christmas joy? Though the holidays are hard for some, I love Christmas because it reminds me of Emmanuel, God With Us.
I love colored lights, I love boxes, and packages, and bows. I love Christmas trees and ornaments. I love all the little things that remind me of family times and happy times of Christmases past. Those memories bring both smiles and tears.
I miss my mom and dad and the almost 50 Christmases we shared together. I miss my sister at Christmas time, because, through much of our lives we were together on Christmas. I miss what Christmas was when the girls were small and we were all together. (more…)
by David Delp | Dec 19, 2016 | Grief & Disappointment, Joyful Living, Uncategorized
I love Christmas; It’s the holiday season I’m not so sure about. No this isn’t a rant about shopping, but thoughts about the holidays for those who have recently, and not so recently, lost someone they love.
[shareable]Holidays are both joyous and challenging.[/shareable]
Losing someone is losing a piece of your world that you will never get back. It is a hole in your life that nothing else ever fills, because a unique and loved person is irreplaceable. There are two spheres of impact: (1) The more loved the person and (2) the more interwoven the person was into our life or “world”, the greater the disruption. Donna and I have started a new and joy-filled life, but neither of us is a replacement for the person we lost. We are coming more and more to realize and deeply desire newness, allowing old things to pass away, redefining our world, embracing tightly the people we love, and moving into a new, unique, and exciting world. Etc. (more…)
by David Delp | Nov 9, 2016 | Grief & Disappointment, Joyful Living, Uncategorized
You can’t live joyfully if you blame yourself, and others for that matter, for everything bad that’s happened. Stuff happens and it is incumbent upon us to live beyond the tough stuff.
When Joyce, my wife died I blamed myself at first. I think all of us who have lost someone in an untimely way goes through this to some extent. “What if…?” What if I’d not taken the time to take a shower? What if I hadn’t dropped my shaver and then taken the time to clean up the shavings that fell all over the floor and down into the HVAC vent that morning? What if I’d not slept in the recliner that night, thinking she would rest better? What if I’d called for help sooner?
What if I’d been more forceful with the ER doctor the day before? Maybe I believed him because I didn’t want to insist upon it and pay the co-pay for a needless third MRI, just because she had a run-of-the-mill headache.
What if I had loved God more? What if had a more excellent faith? What if I had prayed more, or better, or differently? What If I’d said different words? What if I’d taken more spiritual authority? What if I had not stolen that little plastic 47 cent figure from G.C. Murphy when I was 13 years old on a dare? What if God had loved me more? What if I had been worthy for God to have loved me more?
Yeah, some of you know the routine. You’ve stood and looked in your bathroom mirror and cursed yourself and called yourself names, because had you been smarter, had you been better, had you been…
What if…?
Its odd how we make things about ourselves. Its actually a little arrogant to assign ourselves a central role in so many of the things that happen in the world.
I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past 4 years. I was given the gift of a looking glass into which I could peer and really see myself. At first I did not like what I saw. This preacher of the love of Jesus for 30+ years, the whole “no condemnation” part — over and over again. Yep, I was that guy. Gradually I started seeing another image in that mirror looking back at me. The transforming image wasn’t a despicable man responsible for losing the most precious gift I had to that point been given; rather, I began to see a familiar face somehow miraculously merging with my own. I began to see Jesus in my face.
I began to identify just a wee little bit with his sufferings. I began to identify just a wee little bit with his compassion and humility. I began to identify, in an infinitesimally small way with the man-Jesus who hung torturously on a cross and looked heavenward into the face of his once dotingly adoring heavenly Father saying, “My God….Why have You forsaken me.
I could not identify with the immensity of His pain, but I could identify with his massive “why.” Our “what ifs” are rooted in our “whys”.
Here are a few related leadership principles that will help you live joyfully and better lead those you love:
Everything Is Not Your Fault
You can’t live joyfully if you blame yourself (and others for that matter, which is another post) for everything bad that’s happened. Stuff happens and it is incumbent upon us to live beyond the tough stuff. Admittedly, some things ARE our faults, but the majority of the things for which we blame ourselves are not our fault, and fault isn’t even the main point if we want to heal and move into our purpose.
[shareable text=”You can’t live joyfully if you blame yourself for every bad thing that happens.”]You can’t live joyfully if you blame yourself for every bad thing that happens.[/shareable]
My dad taught me to take responsibility for my actions. own up to my mistakes. Admit you were wrong and move on as best as reality will allow. But as godly leaders, we often take internal responsibility for things that were not ours to control. I could not alter the events of November 17, 2012 (the day of my wife’s passing). They were written in a book before the foundation of the world. That does not mean that I don’t try, it is simply an acknowledgment that I cannot control everything.
You see, you can’t control the actions and decisions of others, nor can you rewrite the consequences of the things you cannot control.
Don’t Second Guess the Past
“What if” is a game that must not be played in reverse. Learn to learn from the past. Understand the future in the context of the past. Be stronger, better, and equipped from the things you’ve learned and experienced, but be very cautious with the creation of alternate scenarios, because alternate scenarios lead to alternate realities. We live where we live, reality is reality.
Instead play “what if” forward and positively. What if today I love my wife like it is the last day I will have her with me? What if I apply myself diligently to the revelation I’ve received? What if I live faithfully and trust God’s grace? What if…? What might happen if…? and then live it.
Live in Partnership with God
Outcomes emerge from our obedience to God’s directives. I am of the conviction that things and people are only eternally transformed through a God-revelation. I cannot expect to bear great fruit outside my gift, and neither can I position myself to effectiveness contingent upon my earning it.
You can’t create something transformational if you think yourself unworthy of God’s grace. You can’t lead with A profound spiritual horsepower until you’ve been beaten up, probably several times, and learned that you just cannot make it through tough stuff unless you have some help. This fixes both your reliance and sufficiency on God.
I’m going to do my best, but I really can’t change much. I for sure cannot change the things that are behind. I can only learn from them. I can only use them for a context to understand the things to come.
If I can’t change much in my past, then why am I obtuse enough to think I can really orchestrate my future. Oh yeah, I will be disciplined, I will be determined, I will not quit, I will hear the heartbeat of the Father and I will doggedly and obediently pursue his plan, but I play just one instrument and my Father is the conductor. I have to trust that he will give me the right part, the right music, and the will to be tenaciously obedient.
Nothing I did or did not do that day affected the outcome. Sometimes I wish it had so I would understand better. I was along for the ride on a very bad day, but that ride is still taking me to … I’m not sure where, but I choose to position myself to live joyfully, and trust that the destination is a very, very good place.
by David Delp | Oct 4, 2016 | Grief & Disappointment, Joyful Living, Leadership, Uncategorized
How do you re-engage a joyful life when joy has been stripped away? We are committed to the pursuit of a joyful life. Boldness is actually required for joyful living. We will boldly pursue joy!
People mean well. They want to make us aware of how things should be. They want to help us clarify our obligations to God, nation, church, and family. I’ve found yet another comforting key to living a joyful life; I scroll past political commentary on my social media feeds. I unfollow the most vitriolic, don’t have time for it. I limit my news consumption to a few minutes a day from measured sources. If I want to dive deep I can, but I’m not going to let FOX or CNN roll while I eat my evening cereal. I will be informed, I will not overdose on opinionated commentary.
You see, I already know what I believe. I do. My thinking is well developed. I’ve chosen a path for my life. I research when I am confused, but I stand when I have certainty. I know where I’m going. I know what I’m to do with my life. Opinions considered, I want to just get on with my mission.
When I listen to rants I usually get enraged about something over which I have no control. I will vote. I will state my beliefs. I will chart an unwavering course. I will live a joyful life which comes from focusing on what’s important and giving less focus to things not central to my personal mission.
[shareable]Boldness generates joy in a strange sort of way.[/shareable]
… The boldness to defy the conventional in favor of the transformational
Living our lives in a cage of convention puts our focus on parameters instead of simple joys. Yep, anal people like me have a harder time being joyful. Joy comes through transformation into the newness of abundant living. Not every “i” is yours to dot, not every “t” is yours to cross. If you spend your life dotting and crossing every incomplete “i” and “t” you come across it will strip your joy.
… The boldness to defy routine for the extraordinary
Habit and routine are keys to success… They are… But taken to an extreme they strip simple joy. Do something different. Find new places. Discover the joy of a new adventure. To reach for the extraordinary we must reboot our routine.
… The boldness to defy the mundane for the next miraculous
When we were children we marveled at the veins in a leaf and the fuzz on a caterpillar. Have you lost your wonder? Have you come to see the miraculous gift of life as something to be endured rather than enjoyed? We’ve been there! Don’t be so focused on where you are going that you fail to live right now.
… The boldness to defy hypocrisy for reality
I am an unapologetic Christ-follower. Jesus loved hypocrites, but he hated their hypocrisy. Condemning others for things we ourselves practice, though perhaps in a slightly different form, is hypocrisy. If you want to live a joyful life, cut off the people who strain a knat and swallow a camel. See, “they” want you to adhere to standards they cannot even keep. If you try–no joy for you!
… The boldness to defy deception with truth
The truth will set you free. Freedom brings joy. We lie to ourselves about ourselves too often. God thinks I’m awesome, he does (another #writingthought)! I’ve always seen myself as less than I was. Arrogance and humility aside, most of us beat ourselves up when actually, most of us are pretty awesome people. I can never be joyful unless I like me.
We are committed to living a joyful life. We will joyfully embrace transformation. We will pursue the extraordinary. We will rediscover a wonder for the miraculous. We’ll ignore hypocrisy and the agendas of the frightened. We will live with the largess of God. We will joyfully embrace who we are…because God does.
